Resolutions, introductions, the whole she-bang.

It's a new year and I am ringing in with a new blog. It seemed only appropriate that I would introduce myself with ways in which I plan on bettering myself.

I have never been one for resolutions. I have been one for breaking promises. Mostly the ones I make to myself. But after the most tumultous year of my life, it is time for a change. I am nineteen and I am in what I like to call my "transitional" period. I dropped out of college. I moved back home. I tasted freedom and then reality hit me much harder than I was planning on having it do so. I entered the "job" field, granted, not where my passions lie, but I landed somewhere. I do not believe I was fully prepared for this year, but it taught me everything that I did not want to do anymore.

1. Do not wallow.
I spent an entire year, wallowing. I bitched about my job, I bitched about my boyfriend, I bitched about being broke, I bitched about Tom Waits not banging me. (I'm kidding about the last one, a little.) Partially, I can say that it's not my fault. I spent almost 11 years of my life battling depression, but that's an excuse. I will not give excuses anymore. That's part of it. Yes, life will continue to kick your ass, Brianna, but you just have to kick it back. Nothing will change if you drink a bottle of wine alone in your room and listen to Nico with the lights off. Either suck it up and shut up, or change your situation. 


2. Be. More. Proactive.
Yes, there is an I Love the 90's marathon on tonight, and no, you didn't pay your bills, or mail that package, or wash your hair, or start that goddamn blog you have been talking about for months. Yes, you've always been the type to exist in your own head, but dammit, woman, enough is enough. Stop imagining the fanciful life you have always wanted and make the steps to get there. Make a 30-day, 100-day however many day action plan and DO IT. Don't spend your life in your parents attic with no heat, watching VH1. Go out into that world and DO SOMETHING. You have all the resources you need. They are also known as you. You are capable. Please prove it.


3. Tell everyone and everything that inhibits you to fuck. off.
You lived your life so far for other people, for responsibilities that weren't important to you, for choices that you didn't feel like you really made. It's time to stop. It's time to take charge. It's time to admit that there are some things in your life that really hold you back, and as much as you may love and cherish those things, you need to sit down and analyze how much they are destroying you. So, fuck off.


I hope that I am on the right track. I anticipate that this will be another difficult step towards the goals that I really wish to accomplish:
1. Become a fashion buyer.
2. Move to Philly.
3. Get published.
4. Bang someone really gorgeous.
5. Buy those Marc Jacobs boots I'm craving.
Some goals a little deeper than others. And most of them are far-fetched and not quite fully formed in my life. I don't think that's the important part, though. I have much more time to learn what those goals may be and what they actually mean to me. I think this year will be the best one yet, if I can finally discover what it is I love, actually fucking do it, and stick to it.

Here's hoping.