The altogether best and worst words to ever come out of a love interest's mouth. Have you heard it before? It's second to none with "You think like a man."
Part of me wants to be flattered. Because that part of me logically realizes that society views women as catty, superficial, unintelligent, and all around THE BIG SUCK. So, telling me I'm not like that ... well, thanks.
But the other part of me, the bigger part of me that cannot be suckered in by some lame bit of flattery is really, really angry.
What do you mean by that? What are most girls even like? And how the hell do men think, anyway? If I was an average American woman, I would pick up the latest issue of Cosmo for their brilliant advice on how to handle this situation, but I'm not, and I can only handle so much blatant garbage shoved down my throat, so I think I may be at a loss.
You see, it's comments like this. Generalizations, that are perpetuating the problem. That are making it seem like society's viewpoints are really okay. 'I guess that it's not so terrible that I don't respect women and think they're all dumb, lying, whores, because hey, everyone else agrees with me for the most part. Except that weird lesbian chick in accounting.'
There are times when I want to just scream my bloody head off, because I hear things like this constantly, and I am the only person in the room who will dare to disagree. And shit, I know I couldn't possibly be the only feminist on the planet, but I think far too often it feels that way.
It sometimes feels like this is just a losing battle. I mean, can me, and a few other strong women and men out there really change an entire culture's way of thinking? I mean, my god. It's everywhere. I will walk into work, and have a perfectly normal conversation with who I tend to think is a fairly intelligent co-worker that will turn around and tell me that they "love gay men because they're so sassy." Moments where I can educate those people sometimes just pass me by, because I feel like I can communicate as many facts and logical points that I could ever possess, and the message will be lost after a total of ten minutes. And even on the off chance that I get through to them, there are still millions and millions of people I will never reach.
And how can I even reach them, when they will write me off as just a girl with too much testosterone (which would explain why I'm so laid-back and not painting my nails as we speak) that just wants to elevate women above men, because I'm a man-hating, hairy, angry dyke?
How do we truly band together? And can we ever hope to eliminate the generalizations surrounding our cause?
I love this. Not the negative, obviously, but just the fact that you are so intelligent and thinking about things like this makes me feel good. More women should be, in my opinion. I agree with pretty much everything you wrote here, and I more often then not feel the same exact way. We really would get along so well, girly. We need to hang out, seriously, pronto. I can never find another female irl that I agree with on these types of issues.
ReplyDelete-Valerie
You've described my frustration perfectly. I wish there was some kind of game plan, like an easy to follow guide on how to get from here (patriarchal society rearing its ugly head in every goddamn conversation I have) to there (where people naturally view and treat each other equally).
ReplyDeleteIs the best I can do is question the speaker of the "compliment" about their sexism? Seems so ineffective.
Being a pacifist has its drawbacks.
- Tegan